Tuesday, September 28, 2010

My New Kitten

The time came, we had to pick up our kitten at the cattery and take it to her new home. When we arrived at the cattery and looked at her, she didn't seem very happy about the change. She mewed loudly and looked frightened.
When we came home, she rushed downstairs as soon as she got out of the basket. She stopped at the closed door to the bathroom where Monia's second litter box was as if asking : "Why is the door closed? I need to see what's inside".
Then she wandered around the upstairs sniffing and looking. She refused to use the litter box I prepared for her, but used Monia's old blue litter box enthusiastically. Remember, I had a dream where Monia was dragging a blue litter box to me? So, is it coincidence or what?.. I placed her in Masha's bedroom, and she liked the bed where Monia used to sleep most of the time. The first day she was kind of sad and shy, but it changed very quickly.
First days I tried and succeeded in switching her into wet and raw food. She ate raw meat with the same pleasure as Monia did. She mewed as loud as Monia did when waiting for food.
She got acquainted with her new environment very quickly, and on the second day she was romping about and didn't object to sit or nap in our hands. She liked our bed as Monia did, she sat on the window using a posture very similar to Monia's, she mewed a lot, as Monia used to do, she jumped on my chair in the kitchen and tried to sit, paws on the table, on my lap, exactly as Monia did.  We couldn't find the name. It just did not want to come. But, as it always happens, the name came by itself suddenly on the third day, and we called her Fen'ka, maybe by the story called Fen'ka written by Panteleev, where there was a little girl named Fen'ka who did a lot of mischief.
A week later Masha came to visit and to meet our new kitten. She didn't believe in reincarnation and wanted to check how it goes. Monia loved Masha as her big sister, they had a special reletionship. She used to sleep on her head when Masha came to visit. Fen'ka slept also almost on her head, near the pillow, accepted Masha immediately and was very happy to be in her arms. She even mewed less as if everything for her fell in place when Masha came. My daughter that had been full of doubt, admitted that Fen'ka had the same feel as Monia had - warm and welcoming, willing to purr, but full of tricks and ready for mischief. For my daughter it was even more obvious than for us since she just has taken in a new kitten, and this kitten is so much different.
Fen'ka also showed us three-paw sitting, as we called it, when two fore legs and one hind stand in one line - that was Monia's characteristic too.
So, what do we have to think? We all felt extremely happy when the kitten arrived, we felt that, yes, it was our Monia who came back. It's possible that she entered the kitten body not in the first day, but it happened gradually over the first two days. Nobody can prove it either wrong or right, so we'll go by our feelings. And the feelings say it is she, our dear Monia. She is back home.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Monia, is it you?..

It's been 2.5 months Monia is not here, and I have been waiting for signs and urges she is intended to come back as a new cat. But I felt nothing so far. Nothing, with one exception.
Masha decided to take another kitten to make Sima company. Maine coons, this playful breed, need to be entertained at all times. Sima is two years old, but behaves like a kitten, and, with Masha's busy schedule, definitely needs a companion.
Masha found a cattery in NH, and reserved a kitten. When we came to see the girl, she turned her back on us and sat like that all the time. But there was another girl who was the most lively and sociable, so Masha chose this one. There were other kittens, and subconsciously I was waiting for something to happen, but nothing happened - I had no urges to take any kitten in my hands, no heart beats, no nothing.
When we came a few weeks later to take the kitten to her new home, there was a new litter in this cattery. By impulse, I asked to see kittens. One girl was so loud that she reminded me Monia. I felt very emotional, and took the kitten in my hands. She calmed down and snoozed on my bosom. Monia, is it you?..
When we came together with Alex two weeks later, I couldn't identify the girl. When I finally saw her, she was kind of sad and skittish, but still liked to be in my hands as well as in Alex's. I hesitated, but Alex liked her, and we decided that we take the little thing.
That day I went to Monia's grave and begged her to reincarnate in this kitten's body. I read that it's easy for cats' souls to exchange bodies, so I am hoping Monia will come to us soon. Maybe that's why the kitten is confused now. I am hoping. I am waiting. Monia, come home!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Monia & Sima

I haven't been here for a while... Sima, Masha's cat, was visiting and stayed with us for almost two months. He came just in time to comfort us and somehow fill the emptiness of our home without Monia. Now he is gone, and we miss him dearly.
It was his third visit to us, during other two Monia was well and alive, and both times she entirely rejected him. First time he came as a young whole cat, we had to keep them separately at all times, letting one or the other out from time to time. At night Sima stayed in our downstairs room with all his stuff. A few months later Sima came already spayed, Monia's reactions were obviously different, but still showed all signs of animosity. She tried to show him who the boss was and denied any possibility of friendship. She hated him. She used to sit on my desk, up and away from Sima's bold attempts to play with her. To ease her stress and stifle jealousy, I tried to tell my cat that she had no need to worry, because she was my favourite and my beloved. I think she knew that.
During his last visit we allowed Sima to roam the whole house freely, and put his litter box in the downstairs bathroom, where one of Monia's litter boxes used to be. He was looking for Monia in all her places, he remembered - it was strikingly obvious. A few days later he became anxious, stopped using his litter box, and showed the signs of a sick animal. He started to do his things right in the drain of the bath tub and sinks. He looked scared and not at ease. I hurridly started reading about litter box problems with cats, and stopped punishing him, since it didn't work and agravated him even more.
There is nothing worse to have a cat that is not litter trained. I was desperate and didn't know what to do. Then it suddenly occured to me that Sima marked the places where Monia liked to be a few days before she passed away, that he was restless because Monia's presence, whatever form it might have, interfered with his energy. Poor guy, he didn't know what was happening. It should be noted that Monia had a nasty temper and was capable of mischief. I thought, what if she decided to confuse Sima and make him do bad things on purpose, just to make us angry and restrict his sudden and unbounded freedom. Well, then putting him back in his downstairs room might help. So I did. I put Sima and his stuff downstairs, and locked him at night, and let out when we were at home, while bathrooms were locked. It worked like a charm. He calmed down and started to behave like a normal cat, he even liked to go downstairs for his night sleep. Occasionally, when a bathroom was opened, he peeped in with fear, hesitant to enter, as if Monia's spirit was threatening him from there.
That's what Monia wanted - the order once set when he had been here before, the order she accepted, where she ruled and Sima was subordinate.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Ways of Communication

There was a peculiar occurrence a few days later Monia's going out. I saw a spider on a bathroom floor. In some cultures this means one will have good news or a message. OK, I had a blink of this thought when I saw the spider and forgot about it. Later this evening I had a feeling of my cat's presence. Wherever I went, there was something reminding of Monia. I had some ironing to do while watching a movie on the computer. I bended over the ironing board to my computer and typed in user name and password. The system did not allow me in, asking if I forgot my password. It was a few times in a row, then finally I was in, and tried to watch a movie, but was not allowed again. This time I saw a completely white screen with small font letters in the upper left corner: "Hello!" My heart sank, and I involuntarily said: "Monia, is that you?.." I really had this unexplainable feeling that it was my deceased cat trying to communicate with me.
Then my cellular phone broke down in a strange way. It looked as if it was not charged, I charged it only to discover it shows just Hello word on the screen and then it went plain white. I brought it to the provider office, there was nothing wrong with ithe phone, except that it showed white screen, Hello, and never switched on. Again I had a greeting and a white screen, and again I thought it might be Monia trying to say something to me.
When I watch animals and insects, it always amazes me how they know what to do, where to go, how to build, what to eat. They all have this strong bond with earth's web of information streams, the bond we people lost, maybe because of civilization process. We don't know and probably will never know what ways of communication a spirit, or soul, might choose. A dream, when your consciousness is separated from the body, but you can perceive and interpret in a symbolic way? Water, that is thought to be one of the possible natural carriers of information? Quite possible that it will use one of man created ways to transmit a message. That is why I tend to believe that this unexpected greeting on a white screen was just that - communication from the other side.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Dream

On the third day from Monia's death a had a weird dream. I dreamed I had three cats: Monia who is dead, Monia who is sick, and Monia who is a young healthy cat. They all exist simultaneously, but the young cat is very active and near to me. At one moment I see her dragging a new litter box, a small oval litter box, blue color; she shows it to me, as if saying: "Look, I need this pretty new litter box, I wanna use it".
This dream seeems very symbolic to me. I am trying to be as open-minded as possible to be able to feel signs of her coming back. Dreams could be a way of communication and prediction of desired events. What if she is already ready to reincarnate and warns me about it? What if she is persuading me to get ready for her new coming home?
A painful question arises: if she comes back, how will I know where to find her? My fear now is not to be able to guess, to understand what to do, where to call, where to look on the net, and what not. People who experienced reincarnation of their animals all say that it was all a sequence of events that brought them together again. They just knew what to do at the right moment, the circumstances led them to reunion. I want to believe this and will be waiting for a sudden urge to act.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Forgive Me...

Looking back at what life our cat had and comparing it with others, I can say that she had a good cat's life. She had the joy of mating and having babies, she was allowed outside once in a while, she was loved and treated as a full member of the household.
But deep in my heart I have a feeling of guilt. Maybe it was I who did something wrong that shortened her life? Maybe I didn't try good enough to connect with her to learn what she needs?..
For what I did wrong and didn't do I am asking for forgiveness. For not letting to roam outside freely, for not giving most natural for cats raw food all the time, for not letting to mate more and have offspring, for not holding enough, for not appreciating your inborn hunting habits - forgive me. Forgive me and come back to us.
I am not insane saying this. I mean it. I want our Monia to come back to us reincarnated in a new cat's body.
There are many theories of reincarnation and many opponents to it. I am just trying to be logical here: how can it be possible that when a living creature dies, meaning the body cannot function and dies, nothing is left? What about soul, this clot of energy with loads of information?
How can it be possible that all this information just vanishes with the death of the body? Is it possible for an ordinary man to connect to what is released after the death of the body? I am hoping for this, and sometimes it seems to me I am getting signs of this connection.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Connection to Earth

Yes, indeed. We know almost nothing, science is in a fetus stage of its development, in spite of many discoveries of the last century. People imagined that they are superior creatures on Earth, and completely forgot that they are a part of natural world. They cut, stub, slaughter, spay, neuter, declaw, they constantly struggle with nature instead of searching for the ways to exist in harmony with all living and growing.
Her last days Monia was acting in a strange manner. She liked to chew on particular grass when outside, but last week she switched to garlic that was just showing from the ground. Garlic is considered as one of poisonous things for cats. What was she trying to do? To poison herself, to help herself to die sooner or easier? I don't have the answer, I don't think anybody does. Maybe, some intuitive with inborn abilities.
She had a special connection with water. As I said before, she drank a lot of water, she especially liked when I added colloidal silver in it. Last few days instead of drinking she stared at water in her bowl, in the toilet (her preferred place to drink), and in Alex's glass on the night stand. It looked as if she was trying to learn something from it, or transmit some information. Isn't water a part and one of the main elements of nature, source of life and depository of energy?..
She never liked to go into the tub associated with most hated procedure of washing, but during last days she lied there staring at the sewage hole. Pipes from the tub and toilet go into earth, was it an attempt to connect to earth?..
When outside, she chose bare ground to step and to lie on. Just bare ground, no grass, no stones. I read some time ago that being grounded is very important for a living being, including humans. Walking barefoot, lying on the ground, holding trees - all this releases static electricity, and builds a connection with everything, places a person in the invisible web of energy flows. Quite posible that the invention of shoes with artificial soles played its fatal role in degradation of mankind, in its separation from nature and its laws.